Hungry Parliament

Wednesday, 12 May 2010 12:25

Regular readers may remember that at the end of last year I tried an 11-day diet and lost a whopping 9lbs. This week I am back on it. I won’t go into the tedious details, save to say that I am very, very hungry. I thought it would be easier this time knowing that I got through it last time. In actual fact, knowing what is coming next on the menu makes it infinitely worse.

Everyone is talking about politics at the moment, with the UK elections just over and done with. Just to be clear, I am ‘apolitical’. I have opinions, and plenty of them; but I do not lend support to any political party. That said, I found it all very entertaining. Now it is over and my country has some kind of hybrid, fragmented government in place I don’t find it so fascinating. I think the whole hung-parliament situation has made entertaining viewing for the rest of the world. Yesterday I called my mobile phone provider and got through to one of those call centres abroad. The heavily-accented operator on the other end of the line (who I do not believe for a moment was really called Peter) filled the moments of silence by asking me if we had managed to choose a Prime Minister yet, and seemed genuinely horrified to hear that I didn’t know what was happening at that precise moment in time; as if any loyal citizen of the United Kingdom ought to have been calling to query why he was being charged for a “Deal Or No Deal” mobile phone game from the steps of Downing Street where he eagerly awaited news of his future leader.

Incidentally, do not buy “Deal Or No Deal” for your mobile phone. It is rubbish. Also when experimenting with a new phone try not to buy it accidentally, as this is very easy to do. Apparently.